f2f2s |

The group was 8 21 year olds, 2 dads, and my 20 year old self, and we took over 3 rooms of the Rio from 8/14 to 8/17. GH and Elsberry went out a day early sans hotel reservation. If you saw two people passed out in the MGM’s sportsbook Saturday night, luggage in hand, it was probably them.

Between the 11 of us, we took 8 different airline routes to get there, despite the fact that 10 of us were leaving from Atlanta. My friends suck at flying. I left for Cincinnati at 6:55am, get in at 8:20, get on the next plane at 9:15, and end up in Vegas at about 10:30am local time. The flight was choppy and the people sitting next to me sucked. My only options were to sit back and watch the abortion of a movie that is Monster In-Law, or try to get some sleep sitting next to apparently the highest of high rollers. Thanks for your stories, now remind me why you’re flying commercial out there?

I call Gouda, who landed with his dad about an hour before me. He tells me that Aaron, has just landed as well, and should still be in the airport. I get in touch with Aaron, and we wait together for 2 hours before one of the CLS shuttles is willing to go to the Rio. Fuck CLS. If you go to Vegas, don’t take a shuttle.

Over the course of the next few hours the rest of the group shows up at the hotel. We end up all getting on a $5 craps table and having the staff put up with us while we repeatedly ask what each bet on the table means. Apparently we figure it out pretty well, because everyone books a solid profit before we break for dinner. This craps session also featured the celebrity siting for the trip when Big Shot Bob strolled the casino.

Ok, I can already tell this is getting long, so no more paragraph form. Just some more observations.

Monday morning we go to the Palms. I get ID’d for the first time on the trip, which means I end up going to the buffet while everyone else in the group banks at least $300 on the craps table. The Palms breakfast buffet isn’t very good.

Too many places in Vegas only serve Pepsi, and will give you a glass of it when you ask for a Coke.

If you play craps at the Rio, make sure Felicia is at/around your table. She was around the only times we won.

The Rio’s casino is pretty bootleg, but the waitresses were easily the hottest on the trip. It doesn’t hurt that they dance on top of slot machines at predetermined intervals. It does hurt that the male servers danced on those machines as well.

The only drink I’ve been happy to pay $16 for was the gigantic pina colada at the Rio’s bar in the pool area.

I was the only one of the kids to post a gambling profit for the trip, with a whopping $3 score. Mr. Allen also came out ahead thanks to his 40-1 straight flush bonus at Carribean Stud, and streak of 26 rolls at the table before crapping out.

In stark contrast, Mr. Clark was the ultimate cooler. By the end of the trip no one would play at a table he came up to.

Gouda made $300 in the first 5 hours in Vegas. All by making minimum bets at a $5 craps table. He then managed to spend ~$600 at Jaguars over the next 3 days, and didn’t get his penis played with.

GH went upstairs at Jags, and claims he didn’t bang a stripper. Casey was getting a lapdance from the same stripper the next night, and the first thing she said to him was, “Let’s go upstairs and fuck.”

GH is a liar.

If you want to be really touristy, go to the Stratosphere around dusk, and while everyone else rides the rides, go to the lounge on the 107th floor, the elevator guy will tell you that you need reservations, but, like GH, he is a liar. Get a seat looking back the city, and have some drinks while you watch the sky get darker, and the strip get brighter. The drinks are actually pretty cheap, and really good.

Del Taco sucks. A #5 is actually 2 fish tacos.

Don’t, under any circumstances, go to whatever strip club has Diamond in it’s name (Diamond Cabaret?). Somehow I got charged a $60 cover, and left after watching 5 less-than-average to mediocre (at BEST) skanks try to suck in their fat for two songs at a time. Also, one song lapdances were $40 and the VIP room was $200 for 15 minutes. Reeeee-diculous.